Jim Moriarty - Consulting Criminal

The world's only consulting criminal, Jim Moriarty. My services are specifically aimed towards anyone looking to reek havoc. I'm considered a criminal mastermind, the Napoleon of Crime if you will. There is absolutely nothing I cannot do. Need assistance in completing the perfect crime? Need to disappear without a trace? Possibly you need someone taken care of? I'm the right man for you.
Feel free to ask me for any assistance you need, please, I'm almost begging for a distraction. Life is so BORING. Staying alive is so DULL.
famewreck: Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez are Stalking Me

famewreck:

Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez are Stalking Me

(via pizza)

whorville:

Happy has five letters
Pizza has five letters

This is no coincidence

(via pizza)

royal-high:

a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english  he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work

(via pizza)